Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's All About Me!

There’s no rhyme, no reason, and obviously no ideas for a blog post today, so I thought this might provide a good laugh, if nothing else.  The title says it all:  It’s All About Me!
     So here goes:  I’m sloppy and messy, until I’ve had enough, then I turn into a cleaning Nazi.  The length of time between cleanups is usually about not breaking a good painting streak.
     I can’t stand for my fingers to be sticky.  I die if syrup gets on my fork handle, because I think I’m borderline OCD.  That would explain my sometimes 3 showers a day habit. 
     I drive fast.  By my count, I’ve received 13 speeding tickets since Pam and I married.  I beat 11 of them through the judicial system, paid one, and got arrested for an outstanding seat belt ticket (you’ll have to ask Pam about her part in that fun little episode!)  To get the full story, offer to take me to dinner….it takes awhile.
     I only like two drinks:  Cat Daddy Moonshine, and in honor of Jeff Lebowski, a good White Russian.  That makes a nice segue into my all-time favorite movies:  The Big Lebowski”, “Snatch” with Brad Pitt, “Braveheart”, “Legends of the Fall”, and “Last of the Mohicans”.
     I used to want to go hunt in Africa.  Now I would just like to visit. 
     My favorite steak is the bone-in ribeye at the Palms in San Antonio; a close second would be the ribeye at Austin Land and Cattle (not to be mistaken with the chain restaurant, Texas Land and Cattle) .  I prefer medium rare, but I’m slowly drifting toward rare.  Gail Steiger wins the “rare award” hands down.  As fast as he flips one, the center never gets warm.  He’s corrupted Amy, too; or maybe she corrupted him.
     I’m a jacket freak, especially if it has a Filson label, and I would rather have syrup on my hand than be cold.  And that is saying something.  Apparently 13 really is my number, because that’s how many jackets I’m currently hoarding.  Pam wants me to acknowledge I have a problem.  I refuse to see it or get help.  When they form Jackets Anonymous, I’ll stand up and give my name.
     I love to fly fish and my favorite river is the Gallatin, which runs from West Yellowstone towards Bozeman, MT.  My second choice is the Boulder near Big Timber, MT.  And if you must know, I prefer the old school flys like Royal Coachmans and Hornbergs.
     I like croc shoes when I’m working in the studio.  My collectors always seem disappointed when they see me in shorts and croc shoes.  Apparently, people think I should paint in a hat and boots.  I’m not a cowboy and could never claim to be.  I am an artist.  My good friend Tio Kleberg is a good cowboy. I’ve seen pictures of him dallied on big cattle, and interestingly enough, he has been known to wear shorts and croc shoes.  If Tio can wear crocs with confidence and bravado, I feel I’m on safe ground.  There’s safety in numbers.
     My five favorite stranded-on-a-desert-island songs are “El Cerito Place” by Charlie Robison; “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show; Ben Harper’s “In the Lord’s Arms”; “Wrecking Ball” by Gillian Welch; and Ian Tyson’s “Roll On Owyhee”.  My new favorite singer is Kieran Kane.  It’s bluegrass music at it’s finest and it’s all good.
     I like Cinch jeans with the green label, and 501 Levis for working in.  Someone should tell Levis that a large percentage of people prefer to cross the 40” length line that they’ve drawn in the sand.
     The most interesting and nice person I’ve met recently was the writer and wingshooter, Thomas McGuane.  He wrote “Rancho Deluxe”, starring Jeff Bridges; “92 In The Shade” with Peter Fonda; and “Tom Horn”, which starred Steve McQueen.  During the short time I spent with him, we covered our love of hunting dogs and one of my favorite writers, Brian Plummer.  We found common ground in our love of a book called Tales of a Rat-Catching Man.  If you don’t have terriers, don’t even ask.  McGuane is the most humble, sincere and nicest person you would ever want to meet.
     My remaining best reads would be Jim Kane by JPS Brown; and Nathan by Brian Plummer.  (You can only order this one across the Pond.  Ask me if you are interested).  Other favorite books are:  Matthew Bracken’s trilogy, Enemies, Foreign and Domestic; Death in the Long Grass by Peter Capstick; and Teddy Blue Abbott’s We Pointed Them North. 
     I think I will wrap up this mixed bag of personal trivia with a section on my dogs.  Since Pam and I have been married, we’ve owned Pearl (a black lab), Gonzo (a golden retriever), Blue (a blue heeler), Bodie (a German hunt terrier), Bunkie DeLoache (a pit bull terrier), Punkin (an elhew pointer), Quattro (a black mouth cur/redbone hound), Echo (another German hunt terrier and niece to Bodie), Emmy (a yellow lab), Sookie (a pit bull terrier) and the queen of them all, Jewel (a yellow lab).  While it was hard to lose them when their time was up, I wouldn’t trade one minute of the joy they have brought us.
     This may be more than you ever wanted to know about me, and I can assure you it is an incomplete picture.  But it will give you an idea of who I am, warts and all.

All content © Mark Kohler Studio.


  1. You could have titled this: Why I am awesome.


  2. I was thinking the same thing, but Pam just choked on her hot green tea, and said "Puuuleez!"

  3. Does this mean you can't walk on water....I am so cornfused. Next thing you'll tell us you put yer pants on one leg at a time like us plain folks. What ever shall I do now?

    Wink wink nudge nudge,
    David Mc

  4. David, if you only knew just how much I'm like plain folks!