Thursday, May 5, 2011

Rant 2.0: What the !#?*! Is an Aglet?

    AGLET:  a metal or plastic tube fixed tightly around each end of a shoelace.

     My niece, Kaylee, used this word in a conversation last Saturday evening.  I instantly called B.S. on it and now I’ll need copious amounts of salt and ketchup to get down the rather large piece of crow I must now swallow. 
     By my very nature, I immerse myself in studying those things that interest me, and I tend to study them with total commitment.  That would include Drawing, Painting, Shooting, and Dogs.  But never in my studies or travels have I stumbled across the word aglet. 
    (I think if I chase that chunk of crow with Strawberry Kool-aid, it might be a bit more palatable.)  The bitter truth is that my niece has inadvertently taught me a valuable lesson.  It’s something akin to that old adage, “Keep your mouth shut and let them wonder if you’re a moron, rather than opening it and confirming all doubts.”
     Now I know if I played Cranium or Balderdash or Twenty Questions, then I would have placed this pointless appellation into my hard drive for use on some witless idiot, much like myself.  But as it stands, I still can’t find a reason to clog my vocabulary with such drivel.  When would one use such a term unless you owned a freakin’ shoelace factory?  “I’d like to go to dinner with you, but I busted my aglet, so I’ll be sitting this one out.” ….. “Doc, I think my dog ate my homework, as well as my aglet!” …. “Does this aglet make my butt look big?”

     So where is this entire diatribe leading us?  While rummaging through my flat files last week, I found 3 Salinas Rodeo Posters that I designed in 2000.  (By the way, they happen to be sold out and are now collectable).  I will give away one of these posters to the reader who provides me with the best usage of the word aglet in a sentence.
     Also rest well knowing that all family members of the artist (including Kaylee) cannot win.  Uncle Mark gets in the final cheap shot!
     Good luck!


  1. "aw, man...once that there aglet came off my shoestring and I like to never got them shoes laced up agin".

    Can you tell I'm from the south?

    Fun post. My hubby and I both are said to have "high IQ's", but most of the time I realize that we know nothing. That's OK with me. Never too old to learn.

    Hope this puts me in the running for your art.

  2. You're the first, so we'll give it a couple of days and then I'll make a decision. But you are definitely in the running!

  3. Aglets are antiquated,
    Velcro is for sissies,
    And CROCs are da bomb!

  4. Aglet; pronounced Aiglet or Aeglit.

    Good Ol boy dicshunary meaning: "Aint Gonna Let"

    How many have overheard this conversation over a kitchen table:
    "Eustice, ya'gon let Jr. use th' truck dis weekend?
    Nawh; Aglet'm use er lessin he finish unloadn all dat hay on th' trailer still hook up to er!

    You might be a redneck!

    What..were you expecting a good example?

    David Mc

  5. "His fingers were splayed on the pistol grip like the frayed ends of an aglet on a favorite pair of sneakers."

  6. The competition is getting tough! you're definitely in the running!!

  7. I'm not going to use aglet in a sentence, however, I do feel that Kaylee should get a poster since she was the one who inspired you to come up with the idea. But can she get a different poster? She's not too crazy about color by numbers...Thanks!

  8. Oh Tim's is good. Real Good.

    Customer: "Excuse me, do you have any aglets?"
    Shoe Store service associate: 'come again?'
    Signing and now speaking slowly: "Yeessss, A-g-l-e-t-s."
    'Oh that, I'm sorry, we just sold the last one, come back tomorrow'
    "You are saying you don't know what an Aglet is correct?"
    'Well, aren't they shoes for Baby Aggies?'
    Pregnant Pause.....
    "How about some new shoe strings and I'll just replace the whole thing."
    'You want those in Aggie Colors?'
    'Well, there we go. I can get Hornlets here tomorrow in orange. Cute little baby shoes. What size?'

    "I don't want Hornlets. I want Aglets."
    'Okay, but i'll have to order them. What size?'
    "Uh - aren't aglets one-size-fits-all?

    "just give me a pair of 10" white shoe strings"

    'Well why didn't you say so?'


  9. Oh Tim is good, real good.

    Officer: "sir you know why I pulled you over"
    Speeder: "I was going too fast"
    Officer: "exactly what seems to be the problem"
    Speeder: "I was having an fashion emergency"
    Officer: "Are you trying to be funny? What fashion emergency"?
    Speeder: "My aglets"
    Officer: "What's an aglet?"
    Speeder: "Here let me show you..." (bending over quickly with his back to the officer)

    Aglets can be so confusing. They just don't make them like they used to.

  10. OK, OK!!!! You've convinced me that my readers are creative and have active imaginations! The contest is now closed and I will let you know if you won the poster. Thanks for all the comments! I loved reading them and so did Kaylee. We laughed our butts off!